Although I don't have the budget for this YET, I am working on what I think should be the next movie in the series. ACTION'S ELEVEN. Instead of the pretty, handsome, clever star-studded cast of Ocean's 11, it would star action heroes. Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Seagal, Van Damme, Bruce Willis, The Rock, Vin Diesel, Wesley Snipes, etc.
You're probably thinking "Thats a dum idea!1 they won't come up with clevar plot to steal teh monies from teh casino lol!11
EXACTLY! The plot would be based around all of these men needing to take money from a casino in order to save their wife/daughter who has been kidnapped/put in danger. No clever smug plot. No behind-the-scenes on the dvd about how they all love working together and how they're friends off camera and their kids play together on the set and how making the movie was "such a blast!" They just go into the casino, kill everyone in it, take the money, and run out just in time before THE CASINO EXPLODES.
Any budget for writing would go to coming up with one-liners such as "It's time for you to fold!" and "you've just broken even".
4 comments:
"I warned him not to shoot craps."
"It's not just the chips that are down."
"I said 'hit me' not 'shoot me'!"
"No more bets please. Because you are dead. Because I killed you. With a gun."
Glad you're finally back!
Excerpts from the other post:
after wesley snipes kills someone he could say, "winner...black"
*They have to pull Steven Seagal's character out of retirement.
*George Lopez must play the Bernie Mac character.
*Someone has to say, "I call your bluff" just after a bad guy shoots at one of the heroes but realizes that there are no bullets left in the gun.
*Arnold has, HAS to say, "Cha ching!" and everyone else laughs.
*Wesley Snipes has to make several references to betting on black. The Rock will follow with one like, "Brown is the new black".
*Charles Branson should be the surprise bad guy at the end that no one in the audience saw coming except those who picked up on the fact that the music got all sinister when you see him on the phone in the first 5 minutes.
Arnold should put someone in a stranglehold say, "This is how we play Cal-E-FORN-ia Hold 'Em."
"it's on the house"
*arnold drowns someone in the toilet* "looks like you had a royal flush"
*tom arnold runs into the seen to see arnold, having just finished off a guy by making snakes bite his face/eyes* tom: "oh man! what happened to him!"; arnold: snake eyes.
*arnold finishes off the main bad guy* "i guess the house DOESN'T always win"
*arnold shoots a guys hand off as he's playing cards* "nice hand"
*arnold after finishing off a bad guy, probably by breaking his neck with his bare hands* "looks like someone wasn't playing with a full deck"
*arnold throws a guy in a shark tank/exotic deadly fish aquarium that the main bad guy keeps in the casino but also uses afterhours to punish people*
"go fish"
-Stallone is pretending to be a dealer and the bad guy is playing blackjack and goes "hit me" and he slugs him in the face and a huge fight breaks out with everyone.
-Jackie Chan is also in it and kicks somebody's ass with the chip collecting stick and after they fly out the casino doors he goes "Guess THEY won't be baccarat!" (Back a lot in chinese accent)
arnold walks into an empty room, looks around, then a huge ripped black guy with no shirt on walks out from behind a pillar and starts popping his knuckles and neck. they fight for a while (ie throw each other into the pillars and tables around the room for a couple minutes) until arnold gets off some shots and finishes the dude off with a massive backhand as he yells, "five on *grunts* black!"
-Somewhere in there someone has to pop someone in the face/nose with a punch as they go "Jackpot!"
-It looks like things are going to be pretty hairy when some thugs close in on Arnold but he goes "its okay - I've got an Ace up my sleeve" and rolls/pushes up his shirt sleeves as he walks towards the bad guys and proceeds to beat them up solo.
-At some point Van Damme needs to roundhouse someone into a slot machine so that they fly and smash into it then slump into a sitting position unconscious against it with their backs against the machine and it starts spinning and stops on 7...7...7 and there's a cascade of coins over their head. Maybe some crack about crime not paying or 'i guess crime does pay' or something.
You should sue Sly for The Expendables.
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